I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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