stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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