Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
