I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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