just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
