i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
