youre lurking in front of me
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
