Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize