Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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