let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
