The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
