i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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