There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
