i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
True college students do jello shots in the library
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