Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
