Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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