I met the friendliest cop last night
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
