For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I'm sobbing to NWA
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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