help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize