I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
