he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
