On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
