What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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