I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
he thought i was a dude.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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