I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
