Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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