isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
