He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
