Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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