I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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