I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
