omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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