I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize