I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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