I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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