So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
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he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
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According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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