they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
