Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
