She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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