420 ftw
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
