We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
