You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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