Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
