Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
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