Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
