last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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