do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
