It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
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