That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
