there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
