i barfeds in our rink
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
