"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
