what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
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If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
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i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
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