Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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