we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
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