I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
