OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
