Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
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